Allow me to introduce to you Stress Reduction in a Jar (SRJ): A highly ineffective treatment to relieve serious symptoms of stress, emptiness, and severe cases of ‘whattheheckdoIdonow-itis.
It was just me and this bad boy last night.
Thank goodness my friend got back to me ten minutes later and got me out of the house to hear some live music. Otherwise I likely wouldn’t have had any SRJ left to
expand save my derrière during the next bout of ‘oh woe is me-ing’.
I can tell you though, Stress Reduction in a Jar, Box, Pan, Carton or Bowl… they’re all equally ineffective. Not for one moment of my chocolate-y peanut butter bath did I feel better, happier, stronger or more mentally clear.
Since finishing school a week ago I’ve been a little lost.
Okay, very lost.
I always figured once school was over there were a million different possibilities and directions to go and the world would be my oyster. This is true in a way…I certainly do have a new freedom now that my undergrad career is complete. But when you have a million different roads that you could turn down coupled with a poor sense of direction, a inaptitude for concrete decision-making, and no maps in sight, you get quickly lost and quickly nervous.
Thinking about one day having the freedom to pursue the next exciting steps of life is one thing. Actually living it is a whole different game.
Figuring it all out is a one-step-at-a-time process. But one of the hardest parts is knowing where to place that first step or two. Right now I feel like I have twenty feet all tangled up in a giant knot. They can’t do much stepping like that, now can they?
My difficulty with making decisions has led me to put things off.
My stubbornness and fear have led me to forgo seeking help in so many instances when other people’s guidance and wisdom would have made so many things so much easier.
And now I’m a little stuck. One entire chunk of my life has essentially met its end and I’m not sure how to begin the next. I feel like the uninspired writer staring blankly at the screen, too familiar only with the backspace key, not a single page to speak of.
Except my blank screen is life. What is my problem, what am I waiting for? Inspiration? When it comes to writing, the advice I hear isn’t to wait for the inspiration but to just write. Write, write, write and repeat, and only then will the inspiration come.
So what does this mean for me? I guess I just need to step. Step, step, step and repeat. Maybe I’m spending too much time trying to figure out how and where to step when really I should just start stepping until I stumble across the signs along the way that will guide me in the right direction.
Bravery has never been my strong point, and I’ve too often avoided venturing into the unknown when I don’t feel fully prepared. I know I need to get over this and just move. Shuffle, tiptoe, or skip, it doesn’t matter really. Any movement is progress. Thinking, planning and preparing are all great things, but too much of anything can knock you right over.
So where DO I go now? I’m still very unsure but right now I’m working on the tiptoe…you have to start somewhere, right? I’m hoping someday soon I’ll be running right at it, with a few skips thrown in to keep it fun and interesting along the way. It might take some time. Until then, the tip toe tango it is.
How did you deal with big life changes and deciding on next steps?
Did you know exactly what you would do after school ended or did you take some time to figure it out? (Or are you in the midst of it like I am right now?) Did you tip toe or start at it running?
Did you ask for help? Where did you go, who did you turn to, how did you figure it all out? And where are you at right NOW?
One things that does help – talking to others. I’d love to hear how you’ve gotten through/are getting through some of those big in-between and unknown moments in life. Written about it already? Feel free to send me the link!