I was having a good day today, I truly was. Work was fine, I ended relatively early, I had dinner with a friend. It was all good. Then everything just seemed to kind of go down hill.
Warning: This is a bummed out rant. Pretty much for my own benefit. Skip this block of text if you don’t want to read a whole bunch of negative thoughts that probably only half make sense.
I had to have a not so fun conversation with my friend that was pretty hard to deal with and that really brought my mood down a bit. She was pretty down. But I was okay, just a little less chipper than earlier in the day. Then I came home and ate some stuff that I didn’t really want or need to eat (aka unhealthy crap) because I just didn’t feel very full after my dinner and thus did the whole fridge raid snack thing. So that made me bummed out, and feeling like crap, and hating on myself. Then I had planned on doing a workout but a friend called me and wanted to stop by to pick up her camera which I had, and she ended up staying for a while and chatting, which was fine except now I suddenly got really tired and just don’t have the energy for a workout now. Which sucks SO much because I haven’t done one in three days because I’ve just been too tired from working such long days and then the minimal sleep on the weekend I’m still trying to catch up on… And I am now feeling incredibly gross and lazy and flubby and it’s kind of scaring me. I don’t like this loss of control thing. Well it’s not a complete loss of control but a loss of structure in the past few days. I need to get back on track but I feel like I just don’t have the chance. And plus the stuff I talked about with my friend who picked up the camera included much guy complaining/confusion, and that just made me more bummed out thinking about it since I am having some major guy confusion right now. Plus I found out she’s leaving a day earlier than I thought to go back to school, and I was relying on her to go out with me the night that she’s leaving because of some lame reason that I don’t feel like getting into, but anyway now she can’t and now I’m not sure who else will be available and it’s kind of important that I find someone and now I’m worried about that too and right now I’m just rambling and feeling bummed and down on myself and everything around me. And I apologize profusely for this stupid rant but sometimes blogs are just great for throwing out all of those stupid emotions. So I am terribly sorry if you just read all that and I brought you all down. I’ll keep the rest of this as neutral as possible. eep.
AND food time.
Breakfast? Cereal. Weetabix and Guardian with some almond milk, raspberry Kefir (Has anyone ever tried this liquid yogurt stuff? Is it supposed to have a tang/sour taste to it…? I’m thinking not. Maybe the one I got isn’t quite at its freshest… but the stuff is pricey and I don’t want to buy it again only to find out it IS supposed to be like that cause I’m not a huge fan of that sour “bite” so to speak that it has going on…), frozen banana and blueberries.
For dinner my friend and I went to a little restaurant called Yukikos. They had some pretty good sounding stuff. I got a warm chickpea salad with feta, spinach and sundried tomatoes. It was good but I was honestly expecting a little more out of it. And I still felt like I needed more food after this…
… hence the snack fest upon returning home. I had some leftover Hamburger Helper from my brother’s dinner (Ew!), some cottage cheese, some carrots dipped in black bean hummus, and a bit of rye bread with salsa. Then a bit later I had a few bites of gelato and some blueberries with yogurt. Now I feel gross. Do you blame me? Sigh.
Sorry sorry sorry. Better mood tomorrow! *fingers crossed*